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Right after Dry Cell's set at the 07/20/02 Locobazooka show in Pecatonica, IL we hopped on Dry Cell's tour bus to talk about how things have been going since the band split with Warner Bros. Records, beep sampling, and most importantly, scissors. (We talked with Vanessa, one of the band's friends, before the interview, and she wanted us to ask Danny (guitarist) "Where are the scissors?" We had no idea what that meant at the time, but we soon found out.) After you hang out with Dry Cell, you realize how talented, yet down to earth, and hilarious this group of guys is. Keep your eyes open for Dry Cell. This band is guaranteed to rock the music world.

Jeff: What a mess. (talking about the clothes all over the room)

It's all right... You guys did awesome.

Jeff: Thank you!

You're playing the last show tomorrow. So how would you compare your smaller shows in the Midwest to your shows in bigger cities? Would you consider them more down to earth?

Jeff: Well, the thing about big cities is they see a lot more bands, you know, like national acts and stuff. Small cities are a lot more appreciative.
Do you have any pre-show rituals to get pumped up before the show?

Judd: Not really, no.

You just go out there?

Jeff: Nothing whatsoever actually.

What goes through your mind as you're up there on stage?

Jeff: My main concern is making sure that the people are into it. If I can do more to make them more into it, then that's what I'm always trying to do. And I just get into the music myself.

What would be your fantasy tour? With what bands, and why?

Judd: I don't know. I'd like to be on tour with Incubus.

Jeff: I'd like to be on tour with Alice In Chains and Soundgarden, but that isn't going to happen. [Laughing]

How's touring been? We hear a lot of horror stories.

[Enter Brandon and Danny]

Jeff: It's been great actually, just to play with all the other bands. Everyone's been really cool to us. It's cool to turn around and see the headliners and watch them from the side of the stage and stuff.

Danny, we're supposed to ask you where the scissors are. Does that ring a bell?

Danny: What?

Where are the scissors?

Danny: Are you crazy? [Laughing]

Brandon: [Laughing] What is that?

Jeff: Vanessa told them to ask you that.

Danny: Oh, ok, no! It was a joke.

Brandon: What?! What does that have to do with anything? [Laughing still]

[Laughing] How would you describe your musical style?

Judd: Go for it Danny. [Danny laughs silently] Brandon? [Same response]

Jeff: I think our musical style is very song oriented. We try to keep it heavy and all that stuff, but mainly it's just more about the songs. We're trying to get a point across I guess.

If you weren't musicians, what would you want to be?

Jeff: Porn star.

Brandon: Whoa! Really? [Laughs] Good one.

Jeff: President of the United States.

Judd: That would suck.

Jeff: Yeah, it would.

Judd: I wouldn't vote for you.

Brandon: I'd be a professional scuba diver.

Yeah, but there are no oceans around here, in the Midwest.

Jeff: Yeah, too bad.

Brandon: That's fucked up.

Ok, here's another one. You guys have to be together everyday so you've probably had some arguments. Are you guys more WWF style or Kung Fu fighters?

Brandon: Ha! Ha! Yeah. Well, I mean, only food, over food. If someone eats all of the food in the fridge we get pissed. That's really it.

Jeff: Well, Brandon's got a WWF build, so..

Brandon: Yeah, you know. [Flexes his "muscles"] You know what I'm saying?

How do you feel when somebody says you've made it?

Brandon: Right on.

Jeff: That's a tough one.

Brandon: That's how I feel, "Right on."

Can you describe your first concert? How was it? Locobazooka was your first tour, but your first show.

Jeff: The first show that we played?

Yeah.

Jeff: Well that's you guys. [Points at Brandon and Danny] How was the first show you guys ever played?

Danny: Well, we didn't have a singer. We played cover songs.

Brandon: We played at this little fair. It was like a fair by the beach. That was fucking dumb.

Jeff: That's great.

Do you have any embarrassing moments that stick out in your mind?

Jeff: Not yet. Nothing's happened yet.

Brandon: Yeah, nothing bad has happened yet. We've been like really lucky.

Jeff: I almost had a mishap with some water one time. It was all over the stage. That could have been dangerous, but we survived it.

Have you guys ever considered making a fan club?

Judd: Yes.

Other than the street team?

Jeff: Yeah, sure. We just need more fans first. [Laughing]

Brandon: Yeah, for sure.

There are like 700 or so on the boards. It's great.

Jeff: Nice. That's awesome... You two are the first girls that have ever been allowed on our bus.

Yeah, we were going to ask you about that, too.

Brandon: Yeah, for sure, that's a big deal.

Somebody told us that nobody is allowed past the first half of the bus.

Jeff: Nobody is allowed on the bus at all.

Brandon: No one.

Well, and someone told us it was because you've got to keep Danny a virgin. [Laughing]

Brandon: Oh my God! Oh my God! How embarrassing is that shit!

Jeff: That sucks.

Judd: That is too funny.

Brandon: That is fucked up. That is fucked up.

Danny: That's not funny.

[Sarah, a friend of the band, enters and total chaos erupts - Edited out]

It's okay. We'll just bleep some of that stuff out.

Judd: That was cool.

Brandon: They're going to listen back to this and just laugh.

Jeff: Just leave it all in.

Danny: It'll be like, "Sara enters." It's all beeped out, it's like, "Beep. Beep."

Brandon: Duh, Sara. [Laughing]

[Sara pokes head through the door]

Sara: I heard that. [Exits again]

Jeff: It'll sound like a bad recording of the 'Ricki Lake Show.'

Brandon: I know. It does.

[Laughing] Okay. So, how's everything been going since you split with Warner Brothers?

Jeff: Awesome.

Brandon: Better. A lot better. A lot has been lifted off our backs.

Jeff: We like doing everything ourselves; as for writing, producing, all that stuff. When you have people come down and tell you what to wear and stuff it gets a little annoying.

The bus is shaking.

Brandon: Our tour manager is big. [Laughing] He moves the fucking big ass fucking van. He waddles into the van.

Jeff: You're going to have to re-record this onto another track and put beeps in on top of all the swear words.

I don't know if we're that smart. That's a little too hi-tech for us.

Jeff: Just go from cassette to cassette. Is that a cassette?

Yeah.

Jeff: Then get a tape deck that's cassette to cassette. Record it onto that one and put in beeps. Take out all the swear words.

Brandon: [Laughing] You could sample beeps.

Jeff: If you need help sampling beeps, Brandon can help you sample beeps.

Brandon: Yeah, for sure. I'm a beep sampler, and a half.

Jeff: Hey, Danny, where are the scissors?

[Laughing]
Brandon: Seriously, where are the scissors, Danny?

Yes. You have to tell us something.

[Danny laughs and blushes]

Jeff: Did you steal her scissors?

Brandon: Where'd they go? Do you still have them or are they gone? What did you do with them?

Jeff: Did you break them?

Brandon: Did you break them?!

Jeff: Did you sell them?

Brandon: [Laughing] Yeah! Did you sell them?! Did you throw them away?

It's got to be something important.

Danny: I have no fucking idea what she's talking about with the scissors!

She just said to ask you if you have the scissors and then think of Vanessa's brother.

Jeff: Vanessa's brother?

Danny: Oh, oh, oh! No, no. Me and Brandon were in Vanessa's room with Judd.

Brandon: I wasn't with you.

Danny: Oh, no. That was me and Judd and Vanessa. Then her brother walks in and says, "Vanessa, do you have the scissors?" [Laughs] And he was acting like a complete fucking dork, so..

Brandon: They're all like, "Oh." They thought it was going to be like you stabbed him in the fucking neck or something.

Jeff: Well, I'm going to go, so thank you.

Yeah, thank you. Good luck with the last of Locobazooka. Bye, guys!

Interview By: Nicole and Gabby